Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.
• Even if this is all just a bad extended joke (especially bad given, you know, the history of delusional women's tennis fans), New Zealand journalist James McOnie could use some guidance on how to not act like a stalker in his alleged stalking of Maria Sharapova.
• Blake Griffin had 47 points (19 of 24 from the field) and 14 rebounds in the Clippers' fifth-straight win, this one over the Pacers. For real winners, emasculating dunks over opponents isn't ever enough to prove your presence in the league.
• An Ohio State professor used one million Legos to construct a 1/100 scale replica of Ohio Stadium in his basement over the course of two years. In completing the project, he also sacrificed approximately 99/100 of his pride.
• This spring, LeBron James will unveil an online animated series, "The LeBrons," which will feature his four alter-egos: Kid LeBron, Athlete LeBron, Business LeBron, and Wise LeBron. The New York Times writes that the show will teach important messages like "Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids" did, while its animation style borrows from "The Boondocks." The Times also writes, in what is apparently the only possible way to describe this new venture, that "[LeBron] is taking his talents to the Internet."
• Hue Jackson is the new head coach of the Oakland Raiders.
• To ponder, yet again: how will we remember Brett Favre?
Photo from Australia's Herald-Sun.