Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.
• O.J. Mayo heard that he got a 10-game suspension after testing positive for dehydroepiandrosterone (DHEA), too. He also says the drug testers got it all wrong, that the dehydroepiandrosterone was in "an energy drink or something similar" which he should have gotten checked out before imbibing.
"It's not like I went to a GNC and got some kind of Muscle Armor or something. Or ordered some supplement off the Internet or anything," Mayo said. "A local gas station got me hemmed up. I've definitely got to make better decisions. I admit to my mistake, and it's something I've got to deal with."
All told, May-yo will lose roughly $405,000 because of that damn gas station. [Commercial Appeal]
• Early exits by Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer weren't enough for Andy Murray become the first British man to win a Grand Slam since '36. Novak Djokovic of Serbia won the Australian Open in straight sets. [BBC Sport]
• A chubby kid from Kansas takes a five-second shine to Erin Andrews. (H/T Mike T.)
• Five of 13 U. of Iowa football players have been released from the hospital, according to their coach. [CNNSI]
• Baltimore Raven QB is totally pissed that Baltimore Raven QB Coach Jim Zorn got fired. [Baltimore Sun]
• At its winter meetings, USA Hockey proposed rule changes to "raise the minimum age for body checking in boys hockey from 11-12 to 13-14, make all contact to the head-and-neck area illegal at all age levels and, in those classifications in which fighting does not result in immediate expulsion, provide for extra penalties when one player tears off an his own helmet or an opponent's helmet during a fight." They'll be voted on in June. [NY Times]
• Ellen DeGeneres put her Clay Matthews fandom out there for all to see Friday, according to an email from EllenTV: "She got him a gift - customized Ellen underwear that reads, "Ellen's got my tight end covered." PLUS -A personalized helmet so no one pulls his hair during the game (on coffee table)!" [The Ellen DeGeneres Show]
• Ernie Banks slipped and fell in front of everybody at his 80th birthday party last night. [Chicago Tribune]
• Mike Tyson and wife and a child earlier this week. His name is Morocco Elijah Tyson. At his first weigh-in, he was 8 lbs, 13 oz. [BET]
• Minnesota Vikings cornerback Frank Walker is starting a pornographic website paying "like 200 to 700 per hour." [BlackSportsOnline]
• Do Adidas and Puma use sweat-shop labor in El Salvador? [The Local] (H/T Tomuban)
• Boom went Stacey King's dynamite when Ronnie Brewer dunked over Josh McRoberts during last night's Bulls/Pacers game. [DockSquadSports]
• And, finally, from the "Hickey's Biased" coverage files … The Philadelphia Passion won the Lingerie Football League Eastern Conference Championship last night, with a mesmerizing 20-14 victory over the Tampa Breeze. They face the Los Angeles Temptation in Lingerie Bowl VIII next Sunday. Then, a Broad Street parade. [LFL360]
Top o' the Sunday to you. It's time for the Perk-olator.