Your morning roundup for April 17, the day burglars everywhere accept the fact that trying to rob 81-year-old stroke victim/Korean vet Bobby Smith means they'll get a piping-hot frying pan filled with potatoes across the head.
"Props to Ortiz," Berto's promoter Lou DiBella said. "He fought a fucking great fight. Ortiz won, but what a fight. You want to question his balls? There is no question about his balls. Fuck that. I thought he was out [in the second round]. But he showed great balls and they killed each other in there." [ESPN]
• The Pacers were up 10 on the Bulls with 3:38 left in the game; Chicago then closed with a 16-1 run [Chicago Tribune]. The Sixers were up 12 on the Heat after one quarter and down five at the half, but a late rally fell short so team LeDwayBo won its first playoff game [Miami Herald].
• Dwight Howard was a half-point shy of having half of the Magic's scoring credits in a 10-point home loss to the Atlanta Hawks [AP]. And, Dallas won a game against Portland that it was apparently supposed to lose [Dallas Morning News]. (Photo H/T Nuccio DiNuzzo/Chicago Tribune)
• The Canadiens strolled out of Boston with a two-game series lead [Montreal Gazette]. And, the Los Angeles Kings head home with the series tied 1-1 after clubbing the San Jose Sharks 4-0 [Los Angeles Times]. (Photo H/T Paul Bereswill/Getty Images)
• Johnny Damon has delivered five consecutive game-winning hits for the Tampa Bay Rays, who are 5-2 since the day of Manny Ramirez's retirement announcement. The latest victory swing was a bases-loaded single to right in the bottom of the ninth. [Tampa Tribune]
• Scary moments for Rutgers football when, at Saturday's scrimmage, freshman cornerback Jordan Thomas lay motionless on the field for 15 minutes before being taken away by ambulance.
‘‘I kept saying, ‘God, please be with Jordan. God, please be with Jordan,''' said middle linebacker Ka'Lial Glaud. ‘‘He moved and squeezed and everything is good. But initially, it just brought tears to my eyes. Just to think about another situation happening out here again.''
Turned out to be a concussion. Fears were that he'd be paralyzed like Eric LeGrand, whose Patron Saint Foundation will host a "Believe Motorcycle Run" fundraiser on May 7. [NJ.com]
• In a feisty match that saw one Real Madrid player sent off with a red card, El Clasico ended in a 1-1 draw. Lionel Messi scored for Barcelona on a penalty. So did Cristiano Ronaldo for Real. They'll face one another again in Wednesday's Copa del Rey final [The Guardian].
• With Wayne Rooney on the bench due to suspension, Manchester United fell to Manchester City in the FA Cup semifinal, 1-0 on an 52nd minute goal by Yaya Toure. Man U was also down a man, what with Paul Scholes sent off [Daily Mail].
• Today's recommended soccer viewing: Arsenal at Liverpool, 11 a.m. [Guardian]
Recently On Deadspin
A few stories you might've missed.