Look, I know you're sick of this, but I think it's worth noting even for the millionth time just what kind of big, dumb spectacle we all watched slackjawed on our stupid televisions: an overhyped and overproduced orgy of excess and inexplicable weeping presided over by a pious relic that perpetuates a bizarrely antiquated caste system and which in reality is little more than a celebration of forced marriage and the symbolic beginning of a lifetime of furious breeding.

That's it.

Honestly, fuck the NFL draft.