Jon Lester And Clay Buchholz Are The Latest Red Sox To Launch Charity Wines With Incredibly Dumb Names

Taking money from drunk Red Sox fans and giving it to cancer patients is a cause anyone can get behind (except perhaps liver cancer patients). Meeting with less approbation and more smirking are the names Longball Cellars has been slapping on its athlete-endorsed charity wine bottles. Jon Lester and Clay Buchholz debuted their bottles last night at an event emceed by ethically unassailable NESN sideline reporter Heidi Watney. The names of their wines, respectively:

CabernAce
ChardonClay

That is clever only to a drunk Red Sox fan. The wines join a sommelier's dream selection of other Red Sox bottles:

Manny Being Merlot
Zinfandellsbury
Savignyoouuk Blanc
Schardonnay
Caberknuckle

Mmmmm, Caberknuckle. On the palate it has flavors of baked leather and sock.