Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until [Daniel] Snyder's dumbass libel suit gets pegged into submission.
Today's topic: Mad Libs Erotica. Specifically, providing weekend readers an opportunity (a scrimmage if you will) to brush up on their creativity skillz for "The Snydering," aka our satirical, non-libelous Dan Snyder fiction. For today's practice session, I found a bit of "Sci Fi & Fantasy" wordsmithing titled, "Faerians: Succubus." Feel free to fill in the blanks.
He could not rest, not even to eat. He found himself pacing his _________ (noun), his mind tumbling in many directions at once, not focusing on any one idea for long before jumping to another.
"I need a distraction!" he murmured. "I need.... I need..." He reached for a hypospray and _________ (verb) into her vials until she found the nerve stimulant.
"You need a good pain fuck," _________ (proper name) said from the shadows as he/she watched T'Pax's movements. He was practically purring at the thoughts going through T'Pax's head. My, my but the male was one big dinner plate of desires. Danny felt positively _________ (adjective) as he bathed in the flow of desires coming from the unsuspecting woman before him.
T'Pax put down the hypospray unused and turned to the Faerian. "And where will you be when Senek and I move to our next assignment? How will I get what I need?"
___________ (answer to the question)
Please help the City Paper fend off Danny, T'Pax, Senek and all their succubi friends with a donation to the weekly's legal defense fund.