This video's been floating around for a couple months under the description Drunk Man Eats Napkin At West Hollywood Denny's at 3:10 am. But this week, some folks near Corvallis noticed the subject looked a little familar. And indeed, it's Mike Parker, the radio play-by-play guy for the Beavers. When finally called on it yesterday, both Parker and OSU went into damage control mode.
Parker made the rounds, talking to local radio and TV. Some quotes from his interview with the ABC affiliate in Eugene:
"The wrongdoing feels deep, deep within the heart...It's embarrassing, it's shameful, it's humiliating. I've had some long-standing issues with alcohol that I've dealt with unsuccessfully off-and-on through the years."
"I've not really faced head-on the reality and the depth of my issues. This type of thing brings me literally face-to-face with how bad they really are."
"It's almost like looking at a stranger when I look at that video, but that's me. That's what I've allowed myself to do. I need and have been over the last seven weeks working a program and working with a sponsor in a program, seeking to never put myself, my family, or Oregon State, or anybody in that."
In a statement, the university has said they intend to keep Parker on, and will support him through his rehab stint. On one hand, the man seems genuinely upset and alcoholism is a real problem. On the other hand, OSU football isn't good enough to survive a rival's ribbing after their play-by-play guy ate a napkin on film.
Here's part two, for completists.