Giants Fans, Don't Insult The Butt Of Your Best Homegrown Player Since Marvin Benard

Your morning roundup for May 21, the day we robbed the Knights of Columbus and a tattoo parlor. H/T E. Gunther for the screencap.

What we watched: Nothing. We were busy. I think the Mets-Yankees game was on in the background. Hey, the Mets won. Congratulations due to that Tolkien-loving honorary cousin of mine, R.A. Dickey. That said, and more importantly: If you're reading this, you survived the Rapture and are not burning in hell or Pat Robertson's sweat lodge. Good on ya. Get yourself a yogurt smoothie to celebrate, until the grownups show up, that is.

What we're watching: If I'm not mistaken, the thoroughly entertaining and tied Thunder-Mavs series plays its third game at 9:00 tonight. Tune in to find whether old-timey basketscribes will say that Kobe is clearly better than Dirk, Westbrook, or both. There's also some hockey, at 1:30, where the Lightning will continue their quest to collapse faster than anything since Scott Hannan's Hall of Fame candidacy. And if you don't want indoor sports, there's some Preakness and interleague baseball coming your way. (Jack Dickey, Dickspin Sports Editor)

Elsewhere

Requiem for the Boogeyman: "Rangers winger Derek Boogaard died from an accidental toxic mix of alcohol and oxycodone, according to the report released Friday by the Hennepin County medical examiner's office in Minnesota. Boogaard was found dead at the age of 28 by family members in his Minneapolis apartment last Friday. His funeral is scheduled for today in Regina, Saskatchewan." [NY Daily News]

National treasures: Entering Friday's action, the Nationals were the worst offensive team in the Major Leagues, with a .223 batting average. One would never know it by the way they played Friday night. They collected 19 hits and outslugged the Orioles, 17-5, at Camden Yards. The 17 runs scored set a Nationals record. "I'd be less than honest if I didn't say that you think about that somewhat, but they're Major League hitters who are capable of better, just like our guys are," Orioles manager Buck Showalter said." [MLB.com]

Night Court: "In arguments filed in the 8th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals, just minutes before Friday's midnight deadline, attorneys for the players reiterated their argument that the NFL has violated antitrust laws. They also argued the lockout has imposed immediate, career-ending threatening harm on players and may deprive the public of the 2011 professional football season. "The players face immediate, continuing, severe irreparable injury from unlawful conduct orchestrated to force them to re-unionize against their will and make immense financial concessions," the players' attorneys wrote. "The NFL, by contrast, claims only a temporary loss of leverage by members of a cartel that is no longer entitled to any exemption from the antitrust laws."" [ESPN]

In the nick of Dick: "A few minutes before 10 a.m., Ebersol apologized and said he needed to go meet with his boss. He invited me to stay in his office and "go through my files." I chose to wait in the office of NBC Sports senior director of communications Adam Freifeld. Ebersol said, "I hope this will only take about 20 minutes." Not too long after that, NBC Sports' VP of communications Chris McCloskey walked into Adam's office and told me that Ebersol's meeting would take just a little bit longer, that "something had come up," and that maybe I should come back to finish the interview a little later in the day. It wasn't until after I had gotten to the Sports Illustrated offices a block away that I heard that Dick Ebersol had resigned." [Joe Posnanski]