Real Estate Broker By Day Is Jerkoff Softball Coach By Night

As summer comes on, co-ed rec leagues across the country are forced to deal with power-hungry coaches who've memorized the inspirational speeches from Miracle and Any Given Sunday. Today's coach has a novel form of encouragement: enforcing a fine for any outs made. Our forwarder notes that this is "an extremely casual league." Keep that in mind.

From: [redacted]
Subject: ALL STARS' - PAY$$$ attention
Date: Thursday, May 26, 2011, 12:09 AM

STARS',

THIS is a positive message across to ALL TEAM Members.

YES, we just lost our 4th (D1 and D2) game in a row 2-0 BUT I promise to get us back on track. TOGETHER

I had to be a real AH thru the years building this program but we have a STRONG FOUNDATION that can't be broken. Last year we went 42-8-1 combined. This Year we will be better yet because we will dominate when it counts and it Counts from now on.

Yes their will be adjustments and maybe 1-2 added players "worthy" to be a part but WE Already have A ESTABLISHED TEAM OF STARS chosen with confidence that ARE A PART.

Its obvious our hitting has been our weakness during this losing streak BUT WE know we can HIT.

So to make sure we hit and ALL get focused, from NOW ON make sure you pack single dollars with your gear.

Every time you don't get ON BASE from your at bat IT WILL COST YOU $1.

YES, and now after every game my speech will cover who owes (could not cost you more than 2-4$).

This will help all to concentrate, get all off their ass to root you on AND most important WE WILL ENJOY the "no hit fines" TOGETHER. It will pay for a TEAM NIGHT OUT tab.

Embrace it TEAM.

All will now know to be awake at the plate.

You ARE ALL ON A SPECIAL TEAM.

Any Questions???? Let me hear your comments.

BAM

Kindest regards,

[redacted]
[redacted
Prudential Douglas Elliman
205 East 42nd Street - 6th Flr.
New York, NY 10017
[redacted]
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