Pop Cultural Oddsmaker: What Will Be The First Column On Grantland?

The countdown clock says we're mere minutes away from launch of the most heralded website subsection named for a long-dead hagiographer since Salon's ill-fated ÆlfricOfEynsham.com. We couldn't be more excited, because they've gathered a lot of talented people, many of whom haven't yet had the proper platform for their work.

But we must discuss pride of place. What will receive the honor of being the first headlining piece to run on Grantland? It's a very important question, with the eyes of the sports world eagerly waiting to praise and/or bury the site based on a small sample size. To that end, our untrained staff has set the morning line odds.

What will be the top story at the launch of Grantland.com?

3/1 Podcast with Simmons and Klosterman on LeBron
4/1 Simmons on LeBron
5/1 Klosterman on LeBron
4/1 Simmons pretends he follows the Bruins
8/1 Fall movie preview
100/1 Humblebrag takes down celebrities, but not the ones that contribute to Grantland
10/1 Gladwell has some sports hypothesis that's completely unsupported by the data, but parroted for years as fact anyway
100/1 Lynn Hoppes on Tommy Craggs
100/1 Grantland syndicates Leitch's interviews with Craggs and Scocca
100/1 "I, Pink Gorilla"
70/1 The 50 best MLB players, if they were Odd Future lyrics
50/1 Simmons finally watches "The Big Lebowski," is now a bigger fan than any of you
40/1 Chris Jones on Albert Pujols
50/1 Chris Jones on the Brewers' bullpen catcher
500/1 Chris Jones on Roger Ebert's horndoggery at the Sun-Times
80/1 The Big Three and Erik Spoelstra, if they were Sex And The City characters
300/1 Letter from ombudsman John Walsh
1000/1 Anything by Mobutu Sese Seko
20/1 Jay Caspian Kang on gambling
10/1 Jay Caspian Kang on his own gambling
20/1 Something unfuckingbearable by Seth Meyers
4/1 Dave Eggers referencing his "Real World" tryout as a way of validating Grantland cred
1/1 Katie Baker on her conflicting emotions about Plaxico Burress's release from prison
3/1 Katie Baker on her conflicting emotions about Donnie Walsh's relase from the Knicks
25/1 The continuing sexy adventures of Lolita Bakes

(Odds are for entertainment purposes only. If you could actually bet on this, Simmons would have done it and fixed the outcome.)