German Newspaper Credits Dirk, "First White MVP Since Larry Bird," With Defeating "Ghetto Basketball"

We regret to be working in translation here, because this piece, from Die Welt's Peter Schilling, might just be more objectionable in German. Here's the translated version, working from this original.

HEADLINE: "Nowitzki defeated the Ghetto Basketball"

What ensues is a few early paragraphs about the triumph of team basketball—"The victory of his Dallas Mavericks was a kind of beacon of how the game should be played. It was necessary to trust the players to team spirit, common will, common struggle. And not individual players," and the like. They chalk US defeats in international play up to the same phenomenon. Maybe ghetto basketball is just a poor term for selfish play?

Nah, not really.

Here are some of the piece's more wretched bits:

Dirk Nowitzki and the Dallas Mavericks will be included in an illustrious list of winners and NBA most valuable player "of the Final Series (Most Valuable Player) of the past 25 years. He is the first white MVP since Larry Bird.

That street ball, threaten Rap and ghetto chic and the commercial success of the sport, has recognized the league itself years ago. At that time the players were still dressed with gold chains and hung in the gangsta look: baseball caps, schlabberige pants, long T-shirts and sneakers were open standard.

The wide - white in the majority - aware American public takes this shoddy outfit but with street gangs and the mainly black rappers scene here. The organization wants the NBA, the basketball bothered as a family sports marketing for all. Therefore, a dress code was enforced. The players must now appear in a suit and tie the game.

The skin color is U.S. observers have noted that one of the causes that explain the success of the final series with the viewers. The fact that this is a white star while the throne conquer is certainly good for the commercial success, writes columnist Bill Foxsports Reiter. Even if it is a sad fact that the skin color in general still play a role.

Nowitzki is the man who would hesitate to the average American is not in his living room. He is reticent, has manners and is cultivated.

We'd point out, for example that Dwyane Wade—who wrote about being a single dad for Newsweek, for crissakes—and LeBron James are about as far as you can get from representing "street gangs and mainly black rappers," or, (again) what shit it is that Americans watched this series because of Dirk's race, but taking the time to argue with this piece would imply that it was something other than pandering and stupid. Which it isn't.

Nowitzki besiegt den Ghetto-Basketball [Die Welt, h/t Reggie]