We're not sure we know the precise meaning of the term "hot mess," but this just has to be the perfect application. Meet Stephanie Robinette, 30, a lactating charter-school teacher from Westerville, Ohio (a Columbus suburb), who got drunk, disorderly, and weird over the weekend.
Robinette was attending a wedding at the Bridgewater Banquet & Conference Center—the self-proclaimed "premiere banquet facility of Central Ohio"—with her husband, but apparently the two got in a kerfuffle and all hell—or at least several ducts—broke loose. Namely, she hit her husband, locked herself in the car, he phoned the cops, who then arrived and tried to remove her from the car, at which point she squirted the car and the cops with breast milk.
And at which point American civilization reached its nadir, until the next time.
Meet the Woman Who Sprayed Cops With Her Breast Milk [Gawker, h/t Ed]