A Poem For Albert Haynesworth, Composed Solely Of Media Descriptions

Awful Albert, Abysmal Albert: Attitude-afflicted wash-up. Massive and huge and fat and lazy and difficult.

A sadistic sulky mountain, disgruntled.

Disgruntled,
Disgruntled,
Disgruntled.

Pain in the locker room, thorn in the side, waste of roster space.

Discontented malcontent, fickle painful volatile handful. Motivationally-challenged mess. Ten-dollar underachiever.

A controversial character-concern with character issues. So-called troubled, talented and troubled, troubling troublesome trouble.

Horrible aching pain in the gall bladder.