Late last week, Barstool Sports used the headline "Check Out The Howitzer On Brady's Kid" above a paparazzi photo of a naked Benjamin Brady, age one and a half, frolicking on the beach:
Just swinging low like a boss. That's what MVP QB's do. They impregnate chicks and give birth to big dicked kids.
"PS - The mom's ass ain't bad either," the post added, by way of introducing more shots of Benjamin and his bikini-clad mother.
The post was deemed so controversial that it resulted in writer Dave Portnoy's being banned from Boston sports radio station WEEI, numerous threats of bodily harm from faceless Boston sports fans, and a mini-revolt from some of his own obscenely loyal fan base.
According to Portnoy, the outcries were so severe that two exasperated Massachusetts state police officers even paid a visit to his house to ask if he would pull the offending post down. Yes, you read that right: Boston's lunatic sports community was so outraged by the republished close-up image of Tom Brady's toddler son's allegedly oversized penis that two poor smokeys had to intervene.
Portnoy said that the police were very reasonable with their request. They didn't bust down the door to confiscate his computer or rifle through his closets in search of incriminating videotapes of small boys in suggestive poses. They seemed somewhat embarrassed by their visit, he said.
"They were receiving so many phone calls about it that they needed to stop by," he told me.
He also said that the photo later vanished from his site due to the potential legal ramifications of publishing copyrighted material without permission, not because of the "insane reaction" the post caused.
UPDATE: Portnoy clarifies via email:
We did get a C&D. I ignored it because it didn't have any grounds or at least didn't look that way since everybody kept the photos up and they never followed up with it. I had no intentions of taking it down until the visit from the cops. I met with them. They asked me to take it down in the best interest of everybody involved. I told them I'd call them back in an hour with my decision. And then took it down. I basically didn't want to get into a pissing contest with the cops or state.
He's been vehemently unapologetic for the post because, even though some media members would have you think otherwise, Portnoy did not sneak onto the beach and rip off the young lad's diaper to snap a photo of his dick. But the notoriety caused by young Ben Brady's "howitzer" the past few days will only stoke the site's growing national fan base.
The funny thing about Boston media controversies is that it's often impossible to pick a side. The most enthusiastic denunciations of Portnoy's stunt have come from the high-minded sports-radio folks at WEEI. Crude commentary about a child's penis is completely unacceptable to WEEI, where Portnoy had been a regular guest on Dennis and Callahan, a chowdah-scented variation of the Skippy and Goatface's Morning Sports Holocaust on your local AM dial. Let's remember that Dennis and Callahan once compared inner-city schoolchildren to a gorilla, so it's not exactly MacNeil/Lehrer to begin with. But afternoon-drive guy Glenn Ordway decided this latest attempt at sophomoric humor veered into NAMBLA territory, so it was time to rile up the local callers against Barstool. Then the station's manager, Jason Wolfe, stepped in and issued his own condemnation on Twitter:
No, we will not have Portnoy on again. What he did was completely irresponsible. It's not about whether he was allowed to do it or not. It's about common decency. And he showed none.
Yet, Portnoy now gets to explain his definition of "decency" to multiple national outlets, including Howard Stern tomorrow morning at 7 a.m. The only place he won't be speaking about the controversy is on WEEI. Because that would be indecent.