Ohio Man Rams A Store With A Semi Truck So He Can Steal An $800 Synthetic Vagina (UPDATE)

Ah, Ohio. Home of the drunken werewolf and the teacher who sprayed cops with her breast milk. Now the Smash and Grab Sex Toy Thief of Lorain County joins them.

Fox 8 Cleveland explains:

"Definitely weird. It's kind of crazy to steal a vehicle that's that expensive to break into a story to get some kind of sex toy," said Det. Tony Kovacs, with the Lorain County Sheriff's Department.

John Tirbaso, who owns JT Container Recycling in Elyria, got a call from deputies early Monday morning. He was told his semi-truck had been stolen and used to drive through a building for a burglary.

"I even said, 'Wow, you know this economy is bad, I guess this stuff is going to happen', then, when he told me what happened it just threw me off," Tirbaso said.

"[The burglar] used it to back into the AdultMart, smashing the glass door of the store and ran inside to steal a sex toy basically," Kovacs said.

When asked to describe it, Kovacs said, "It's basically the lower half of a female body."

Supposedly the thief returned the truck—being a good Christian, after all—and then fled on foot, clutching his booty. Never change, people of Ohio.

UPDATE: Tipster Mez has alerted us that this is not the first smash-and-grab at the Lorain County Adultmart. This surveillance footage is from 2009:

Robber Uses Semi-Truck to Smash Adult Store and Steal Sex Toy [Fox 8]