Fox 8 Cleveland explains:
"Definitely weird. It's kind of crazy to steal a vehicle that's that expensive to break into a story to get some kind of sex toy," said Det. Tony Kovacs, with the Lorain County Sheriff's Department.
John Tirbaso, who owns JT Container Recycling in Elyria, got a call from deputies early Monday morning. He was told his semi-truck had been stolen and used to drive through a building for a burglary.
"I even said, 'Wow, you know this economy is bad, I guess this stuff is going to happen', then, when he told me what happened it just threw me off," Tirbaso said.
"[The burglar] used it to back into the AdultMart, smashing the glass door of the store and ran inside to steal a sex toy basically," Kovacs said.
When asked to describe it, Kovacs said, "It's basically the lower half of a female body."
Supposedly the thief returned the truck—being a good Christian, after all—and then fled on foot, clutching his booty. Never change, people of Ohio.
UPDATE: Tipster Mez has alerted us that this is not the first smash-and-grab at the Lorain County Adultmart. This surveillance footage is from 2009: