It's difficult not to pity Redskins fans, who, in addition to being Redskins fans, have to hear Joe Theismann talk about preseason football during preseason television broadcasts. And last night, just after Brandon Banks ended an otherwise splendid punt return by flipping the ball out of his hand as he approached the goal line, necessitating a review by the officials to see whether Banks still had possession as he scored, Theismann just couldn't help himself.
Instead of simply making a point that was self-evident to anyone watching—what Banks did was stupid and shouldn't have been done, but what the hell, it's the preseason—Theismann launched into an endless harangue about how stupid it was for Banks to do something so stupid because football is such a simple game and hot-dogging at the wrong time is just stupid and how could Banks be so stupid by being so stupid?
Here's a portion of what Theismann actually said:
Is it so hard, at this day and age, to run the ball into the end zone? I mean, I don't think football has changed that much where you don't want to score touchdowns. It's so simple. It's so simple. I mean, you know, why don't you run—you know what, if you run around and hand it to an official, you don't have to worry about something like this. It's stupid. It's stupid hot dogging.
Feel free to watch the video above to hear it for yourself. The lecture begins at 1:30 and ends approximately three weeks later. I gave up about halfway through, and I'm not entirely convinced Theismann has finished talking, even now.