The theme of the day was Barnum and Bailey. Whether it was all the crazy circus catches, the Arizona Cardinals or the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Lots of clownin' all around. Let's check it out.
Pittsburgh 38, Tennessee 17: The Man of Steel (seriously, how has that nickname not stuck?) had five touchdowns to only one, clearly kryptonite induced, interception.
Seattle 36, NY Giants 25: This was such an ugly game. Turnovers galore. Victor Cruz at least contributed to Deadspin Circus Week. Fittingly, the game ended on an interception returned for a touchdown. The similarities between the nail-in-the-coffin plays in this game and the Eagles game were downright eerie. And hilarious.
Cincinnati 30, Jacksonville 20: Jacksonville just can't seem to get out of its own way. After a 22 yard punt and a Cincinnati fourth and six conversion, the Jaguars lost to the Bengals. It was their fourth loss in a row. JacksonviLOLe?
New Orleans 30, Carolina 27: This game got the circus party started today. Steve Smith had a crazy catch, took it in for a touchdown and then Roman Harper leveled him with a cheap shot. A melee ensued. The Saints scored a late touchdown to win and Cam Newton loses again. It was a virtual football tragicomedy.
Oakland 25, Houston 20: Somewhere in heaven (??) Al Davis just copyrighted "Just Play Matt Schaub, Baby."
Buffalo 31, Philadelphia 24: The Bills were beating up on the Eagles early and then Philly stormed back. Then there was another crazy, bobbled interception and the game was over. Rough week for Philadelphia sports enthusiasts.
Kansas City 28, Indianapolis 24: Matt Cassel had four touchdowns, one of which thanks to part time-ballerina and full time Deadspin Circus Week contributor, Dwayne Bowe, as the Chiefs rallied to beat the illustrious Curtis Painter and the Colts.
Minnesota 34, Arizona 10: Adrian Peterson had an excellent game in the first half. On the strength of his three touchdowns and Donovan McNabb's impressive-day-for-a-wide-receiver yardage totals, the Vikings won huge.
Your "Holy Smokes! That's Funny Tacklin'" Interlude
Funny tacklin' will not be featured today. In its stead, we will be featuring "My God I Hate The Goddamned Patriots And That Filthy Adulterer And Out-Of-Wedlock-Breeder Tom Brady." Goddammit, I hate the Patriots and that filthy adulterer and out-of-wedlock-breeder, Tom Brady.
San Francisco ∞, Tampa Bay 3: I'm not one-hundred percent sure that's the real score, but it certainly felt that way.
New England 30, NY Jets 21: I just. I don't know. I hate Jerome Boger. I hate Tom Brady. I hate Brian Schottenheimer. I hate Woody Johnson. I'm beginning to find Rex Ryan only slightly humorous. The game was never as close as the score made it look. The Jets "vaunted" D was run all over when it mattered most and that's the story of the game. And Jets fans' lives.
San Diego 29, Denver 24: Tim Tebow started the second half for the Broncos and actually threw for a touchdown. Somewhere in Oakland (??) Al Davis is spinning in his grave. Despite Tebow's best efforts (including a Deadspin Circus Week hookup with Brandon Lloyd), the Broncos were denied for the third time.
Fictional Character Associated With the Region Game Simulator Results Show FCAWRGS got the week off to recharge its batteries after an absolutely dreadful week last week.