Midnight Madness—the annual tradition in which college students get drunk and riled up to go watch their basketball teams perform skits and windmill dunks in anticipation of getting drunk and riled up to go watch their basketball teams play basketball—is tonight!

We've studied the odds and determined that there is a 97 percent chance that Bill Self will do the Dougie, and that Duke's Austin Rivers will play Drake in a digital short.

And already, we have Dickie V yelling about college hoops on ESPN. You can watch the full clip here, if you wish—but we found that it's actually much more intelligible this way.

*****

Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. Hickey will join you for the weekend.