This Evening: Alex Ovechkin Parks His Car Like An AssholeS

Your p.m. roundup for Nov. 9, the day the questions were a little too deep to ponder. Photo courtesy tstockd1, which was taken at the Kettler Capitals Iceplex in Arlington, Va. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors.

This Evening: Alex Ovechkin Parks His Car Like An Asshole

What we're watching (all times EDT, unless noted):Miami (Ohio)-Temple college football is on ESPN at 8.

Read Me

This 2007 GQ profile of Joe Paterno reads a little differently now, doesn't it? "About thirty-five years ago, Paterno was invited to give a talk at a luncheon at Penn State. The audience was a bunch of English professors, and most of them assumed he was going to talk football. It would be amusing, undoubtedly, to see a coach try to spin football as a metaphor that had anything at all to do with the academy of letters. Paterno didn't talk football. He talked Virgil, offering Aeneid as a model for a whole new kind of hero, one that, around 20 B.C., the Western civilized world had not yet met. In the poem, Virgil proclaims pietas to be man's highest virtue. The word is usually translated as 'duty' or 'devotion,' but it's more than that. It's the individual understanding himself to exist at the center of overlapping obligations. Through most of the poem, Aeneas isn't getting it. He wants to be a good old-fashioned hero. Someone more like the stars the Greeks offered up: all this bad stuff coming at you and you fight it off and everyone cheers. A hero! Fate steps in. Aeneas is called. Unlike the Greek hero who was fated to succeed, Aeneas has to choose. He can act, or not act, on the demands of the divine calling. It isn't a onetime choice. He doubts himself continually, and decides, moment by moment, to endure. His fuel is his recognition that his first commitment is to others and not to himself. He carries his father, holds his son's hand, and goes on to found Rome, which is impressive. But what makes him a worthy man is his willingness to subordinate himself to his obligations." [GQ/Longform]

This Date In Deadspin History

Nov. 9, 2007: Who Will Be Playboy's Sexiest Sportscaster In 2008?

Elsewhere

Katie Baker's latest breakdown of the NYT wedding announcements: "Now that daylight savings has ended, it's officially that time of year when the New York Times' target reader is brewing a fresh one-cup of Keurig, sitting down in their well-appointed breakfast nook, flipping open the "Sunday Styles" section, and saying to their significant other: "Honey, I saw Patagonia is having their semi-annual sale and it reminded me: Where should we go skiing this winter?" [Grantland]

A foam foot with Rex Ryan's name on it? A foam foot with Rex Ryan's name on it: "Welcome to Victoryisafoot.com, the internet's largest vendor of football-related foam feet products. Inspired by a certain digits-adoring football coach in the New York region, we have made it our mission to walk the wonder of (foam) feet into every American home. Hands are so 2010-get your foam foot today!" [Victory Is Afoot]

Your Kenya Vodka Commercial Interlude:

Growing old sucks: "The truth is, however, that the ‘sexual invisibility' felt by many older men is really about becoming less attractive to young women. It's a lament I've heard from many of my male peers, who complain that they don't get ‘checked out' as often as they claim they once did. ‘Young women look at me and they see someone who looks like their Dad,' my friend Sean said. ‘They may still smile, but there's no flirtation or desire behind it.' Women over 35 often report the same thing. The difference is that most 40-something women aren't lamenting the fact that they don't turn the heads of college boys. Many of them would just like to turn the heads of guys their own age. Not so for their male peers, many of whom are busy chasing substantially younger women. Middle-aged men don't seem to value validation from women their own age as much as they value it from women 10 to 25 years younger." [Jezebel]

The apology circuit is awfully crowded these days: "NBA union attorney Jeffrey Kessler has apologized for saying that owners are treating players ‘like plantation workers,' adding that he doesn't want to become a distraction during the tense negotiations. ‘The comments that I made in The Washington Post took place in an interview late at night Monday after a very long day,' Kessler said in a statement. ‘Looking back, the words that I used were inappropriate; I did not intend to offend. I was merely passionately advocating for the players.'" [ESPN]

Merch: Managing editor Tom Scocca and contributing editor Drew Magary have both written books. You can buy Scocca's Beijing Welcomes You: Unveiling the Capital City of the Future here, and Magary's The Postmortal here. Now do it.

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