Your morning roundup for Nov. 26, the day we learned that tea bags are old news. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors.

Bobby Petrino Is A Sore Loser

What we watched: Return of the Jedi. The Missus has humored me and pretended to be interested in seeing the original Saga in its entirety and so we finally finished last night. As a kid it was, by far, my favorite of the three and I've always wondered why as an adult (since Empire is clearly the favorite now) and I think I finally figured it out.

For the longest time I just assumed I loved Jedi for the standard reasons: Ewoks, sexy Princess Leia, talking lobsters and that cool speeders in the forest scene. But, really, its even more simplistic than that. Luke was finally The Hero. He had always been the protagonist, but just a spoke in the wheel. In Jedi Luke is the movie. Yeah, it's basically the first movie (destroy the Death Star version 2.0!!), but the script is flipped. Destroying the Death Star is the sub plot this time and Luke and Vader take center stage. Luke is running the show now and no longer plays second fiddle to Han. As cool as Han is, I always pulled for The Hero most and Luke finally played the part in Jedi. Fuck the blinking Ewoks, Vadar yelling "Noooo" and stupid Hayden Christensen at the end, though.

In Case You Missed It: "So, I wait for the bathroom to clear and go in to find my wife passed out in her own puke on the floor of the bathroom. I hurriedly go to the coat check, grab our coats, pick her up off the bathroom floor, puke and all, and head to hail a cab. Luckily, the cab comes rather quickly and we escape." Find more reunion nonsense here.

Elsewhere

Everyone wins in amateur athletics, even the losers maybe: "A win over the Bulldogs would assure the Tigers their third trip to the BCS title game in nine seasons. Though at this point, LSU might be able to get there even if it loses. The rivalry game with Arkansas (10-2, 6-2) for the big Boot trophy was billed as the biggest in Tiger Stadium since 1959, the last time two teams ranked in the top three clashed in Death Valley. Billy Cannon lifted No. 1 LSU to a 7-3 win over No. 3 Mississippi in that game with an 89-yard punt return for a score, so it seemed fitting that the Tigers would get a similar score against the Razorbacks." [SI]

Mission accomplished: "New York State Police spokesman Jack Keller said troopers were called to assist the U.S. attorney's office at the search. Assistant U.S. Attorney William Pericak said he 'can't confirm or deny' an investigation. 'We don't comment on whether or not search warrants are being executed — we only comment at the time of public events,' Pericak said. 'I'm not saying there was or wasn't one here. But when you get a search warrant that's sealed, it remains sealed until a court unseals it.' He said the goal is to avoid 'a trial in the press.'" [ESPN]

Your Praying Mantis owning a hummingbird Interlude

Elway is taking "ever so gracious" shit, that's how far up this thing goes: "While his legion of supporters took to Twitter and the airwaves to assail Elway for not sticking up for Denver's young quarterback, Tebow ever so graciously agreed with his boss, saying he most certainly has to complete more passes and find ways for his team to stay on the field. Less than half of Tebow's throws, 44.8 percent, are finding their targets and less than a quarter of the Broncos' third-down plays, 23.6 percent, are working out since he took over from Kyle Orton at halftime against the Chargers on Oct. 9." [MSN]

They will start calling them "Becks" and pay him $17.9 million of them: "Beckham, who travels Saturday with the Galaxy for their three-game postseason tour of Asia and Australia, will complete his contract with L.A. at the end of December, and he's mulling whether to stay with the Galaxy, head home to London — Tottenham as the likely destination — or head to Paris, where Paris Saint-Germain is seeking to join the elite ranks of global clubs through the riches of its ownership, which is affiliated with the Qatari government. PSG president Nasser Al Khelaifi told The Daily Mail that Beckham's decision will come down 'between Tottenham and PSG,' and the newspaper reported that after 'lengthy negotiations with Beckham's representatives,' PSG thinks it has 'won the race to sign him.'"

Merch: Managing editor Tom Scocca and contributing editor Drew Magary have both written books. You can buy Scocca's Beijing Welcomes You: Unveiling the Capital City of the Future here, and Magary's The Postmortal here. Now do it.

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