Molesty Sixers Mascot Needs Somebody Inside Him

We're just going to assume that B. Franklin Dogg is going to win the fan vote to become the next 76ers mascot, because his bedroom eyes and S&M collar make us laugh every time. He's McGruff, the Sex Crime Dog. "Hey kids! B. Franklin Dogg's van is full of candy!"

But B. Franklin Dogg doesn't just happen magically. Someone has posted a cryptic job listing seeking a full-time mascot in the Northeast Region, but the Knicks and Celtics don't have furries, and Mikhail Prokhorov is going to abandon a wounded Sly Fox in the Pine Barrens, so it's got to be the Sixers. That, and auditions are to be held in Philadelphia this weekend.

You know what this means? We all laughed when the team replaced eXXtreme rabbit mascot Hip-Hop. (Even the team sent out a statement saying Hip-Hop had "fallen in love, married, and will relocate to a rural part of Pennsylvania to start a family.") It was all fun and games, but that was an actual person losing his job, and since dunking urban lagomorphs aren't particularly in demand, his livelihood too. Mascotting is serious business.

[WorkInSports.com via PESCblog]