Your morning roundup for Dec. 22, the day we learned that a black hole won't end the world. Video via HBO. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors.

Philadelphia Flyers Goalie Ilya Bryzgalov Thinks His Dog Is Basically A Hot Girl

What we watched: Last night's episode of HBO's 24/7. As our very own Barry Petchesky wisely observes, "Bryz knows precisely as much English as we love our movie Russians to know."

Philadelphia Flyers Goalie Ilya Bryzgalov Thinks His Dog Is Basically A Hot Girl

What we're watching (all times EST, unless noted): UTEP vs. Clemson in men's college basketball at 2:30 (ESPN2). Chelsea at Tottenham in English Premier League soccer at 2:50 (ESPN2). Kansas State vs. Southern Illinois in men's college basketball at 4:30 (ESPNU) and Memphis at Georgetown at 7 (ESPN2). Houston at Indianapolis in NFL football at 8 (NFL Network). Illinois vs. Missouri in men's college basketball at 9 (ESPN2), Lehigh vs. Michigan State at 9 (ESPNU), Long Beach State vs. Xavier at 11 (ESPNU) and Kansas at Southern California at 11 (Fox Sports Net).

Read Me

Getting down to what is really real: "But as algorithms make consciousness a built environment, perception itself becomes in some way designed, in which sense 2011 wasn't totally stuck in the past—it offered a new sensation-of-being: Drudge's report on Trump's quest for Obama's birth certificate sends you clicking Facebook pictures of a lost love's fat children as prelude to a brief viewing of the Muammar el-Qaddafi snuff film, Tim Tebow chatting-up Yahweh on the 50-yard line or, attention span permitting, Fukushima's 'heroes' streaming across your iPhone in frog masks and body suits, their solemn death-trudge naturally interrupted by a billing reminder from Verizon Wireless. 'It's nice to have moments that are real,' said Ashton Kutcher to the young girl, sharing a little postcoital wisdom." [Observer]

This Date In Deadspin History

Dec. 22, 2010: The Greatest Letter Ever Printed On Team Letterhead

Elsewhere

Taking shots at Darrelle Revis: "I thought the New York Jets were supposed to be the loudmouth, chest-thumping, attention-seeking team this week. The New York Giantshave stolen their thunder. Not only that, but they've chosen as their target, of all people, all-world cornerbackDarrelle Revis. For some reason, Giants wide receivers Victor Cruz, Hakeem Nicks andMario Manningham took turns heaping disrespect upon Revis on Wednesday afternoon. First, Manningham: ‘I'm not about to give all their corners credit because I feel like their defensive scheme is what makes them good in man coverage because they have to play it because of how their scheme is.' Hakeem Nicks took a turn: ‘He's decent.' And finally, Victor Cruz: ‘Teams aren't really scared (of Revis) anymore. He's got to earn his money this year. Teams aren't really backing down. I feel like we're going to do the same thing. We're going to go out. Until he physically stops us we're going to throw the ball on him.'" [Shutdown Corner]

James Harrison wants the Browns suspended, or something: "What Harrison doesn't quite understand, however, is why the Browns haven't also been disciplined by the league for allowing McCoy to return to the game so quickly if the quarterback was in such bad shape. ‘If he was hurt so bad I don't know why they let him back in ... two plays later,' Harrison said. ‘Something should be done to them, I would think. I don't know. I got a game, what should they get?' League spokesman Greg Aiello said the Browns will not be penalized for their handling of McCoy's injury." [ESPN]

Your Fan On The Pitch Interlude:

Green Bay is the new America's team: "A new national survey released Wednesday has found what Green Bay Packers fans have been saying for years: The Pack is ‘America's Team.' Public Policy Polling, which normally conducts surveys on politicians and issues, sometimes throws in a few questions about sports. In its most recent survey, conducted Friday through last Sunday, survey respondents nationwide were asked to name their most favorite team in the National Football League. A total of 22% said the Green Bay Packers, far outdistancing the second most favorite team, the Dallas Cowboys, which got 11%. After the Cowboys, 8% each named the Chicago Bears, the New York Giants and the Pittsburgh Steelers. A total of 7% said their favorite team was the New Orleans Saints, with 6% for the New England Patriots, 4% for the Washington Redskins and 2% for the New York Jets." [Milwaukee Journal Sentinel]

There's a new sheriff in town: "UCLA Coach Jim Mora was direct and stern about the Bruins' tradition of going over the wall to skip out on practice. ‘It's completely unacceptable and will not be part of the program going forward,' Mora said of Tuesday's action, a tradition that dates to 1980. ‘It's a privilege, not a right, to play football for the UCLA Bruins. With the commitment you make when you sign on here comes a commitment to do what is asked of you.' Mora said he and Athletic Director Dan Guerrerodiscussed such issues during the interview process. ‘We both agree that the culture of UCLA football needs to change,' Mora said. 'We're going to do all we can to change it.'" [LA Times]

Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to tips@deadspin.com.