Jay Cutler Is Not A Winner Because He Doesn't Smile At Bears Employees, Writes Crazy Person

I'm not sure where to begin with this column by Rick Telander of the Chicago Sun-Times. The headline says it's about Jay Cutler, but the first half of it has nothing to do with Jay Cutler—it's all about Tom Brady and Eli Manning, since they're in the Super Bowl. By the time Telander gets to telling us about Cutler, he concedes that Cutler is the best quarterback the Bears have had in a very long time. He then faults the Bears for not acquiring a backup in case Cutler gets hurt, which he did midway through the 2011 season. And that's when Telander finally gets to his point: Compared with other quarterbacks—Telander goes on to name five who have won Super Bowls, plus Matt Stafford, you know, just because—Cutler just lacks ... "something."

But how does Telander define that "something"? With this:

His lack of media skills and personality are well-known, and that's fine. But does he have the locker room behind him?

It seems Cutler's blank-faced nothingness must affect those around him. It certainly has affected certain professional people who have had contact with him and have wanted nothing more than a simple smile or "hello."

"He's a sh—," says one member of the Bears' extended staff, a man who wishes to remain anonymous. "You see him, and he doesn't even acknowledge your presence."

If you don't like unattributed quotes — and I'm not a fan of them myself in most situations — simply dismiss that last statement. But Cutler's disconnect is a trait that has to be dissected because it might be the one thing that will prevent the Bears from achieving the heights of success.

So Jay Cutler doesn't "have the locker room" because some unnamed someone, from somewhere within the bowels of the Bears organization, doesn't get a hello from Jay Cutler. It's also the reason the Bears, who reached the NFC championship game last year and were 6-2 before Cutler's season-ending thumb injury in 2011, won't be "achieving the heights of success." Which is a lot like saying the Bears can't win because Jay Cutler once neglected to tip the valet at Morton's. But Telander's not done. He dredges up the negative impact of Cutler's "Hollywood girlfriend," acknowledging all the while that Brady is dating a supermodel, but that—here it comes—Jay Cutler is no Tom Brady. Telander concludes:


And I feel creepily like a TMZ stringer just bringing that up.

But Brady is a freak. And he has matured.

The Dallas Cowboys' Tony Romo went down that celeb path awhile back, and it seems he has wised up a bit, too — now that he has been aced out of the playoffs over and over.

For Cutler, let's hope for a happy birth and eventual marriage.

Or whatever it is that "Dancing With the Stars" stars do.

Maybe they lead you to Super Bowls, you know?

Or not.

Why did Telander spend so much space discussing Cutler's personal life if doing so makes him feel sleazy? Didn't Brady win three Super Bowls early in his career, before he "matured"? What do Tony Romo's playoff failures have to do with any of this? Is Telander saying Kristin Cavallari can lead the Bears to a Super Bowl? Is he saying she can't? What's going on? What does any of this mean? This column is a shit.

Jay Cutler is missing the extra ‘something' best QBs have [Chicago Sun-Times]