This Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions
Here is Rex's gross anatomy teacher. He's trying to draw a pancreas. "This is now dubbed by our dental school class 'the pancrenis.'" Because Rex and his classmates are naughty aspiring dentists, oh yes they are.
A friend of Alex S.'s took this shot at some sort of conference at which Pete Carroll was a draw. Nanu nanu.
You might think it's cute that this dog looks as if it has a dong on its back. But, at this point, someone should find an amyl-laden necrophiliac taxidermist to do what ever he damn well pleases with dongspot there.
Why? Because Donald D. from Texas sent its picture in. As did Carl33, claiming it was a friend of a friend's. And Tim K. And Paul S. And Pablo T. And Joshua N. And Brad N. And Ryan F. And Fred L. And Mike W. And Joe D. And Tom B. And Sean S.
It's like there was a concerted effort to alter the outcome of unintentional-dong selections, or a devaluing of the need for proper attribution, and someone has to pay for that. Might as well be the dog. Are you happy now, dishonest tipsters?
Tipster Ben B. is in a tough spot. "My daughter loves this British cartoon, Peppa Pig," he writes. "If you ask me, they all look like a bunch of dickheads." And if you ask me, you're going to have a tough time keeping lil princess off the pole. Try Bubble Guppies, Ben.
Kyle S.'s "girlfriend made lemon mt dew cupcakes for the Super Bowl. After she applied a dollop of icing it 'softened' into this. In any case, they were yummy." If Kyle S.'s girlfriend sees this, please let the world know if this was really unintentional, or if it was pre-planned so your boyfriend would eat it during that Beckham underwear commercial.
Upside-down Duke dong brought to you by Ryan G.
A girl Matt M. knows "texted me this picture and said to look very closely. After zooming in to look closely, I asked her if I was supposed to find the lamp with the black dong on the middle of it and she replies with 'Ummm ewww no gross you were supposed to find the scary creepy face in the bottom left behind the pillow.' Thanks to Deadspin I now apparently notice unintentional random dongs in pictures." #DeadspinGivesBack
Zach C. calls this "100% Grade-A, free range, organic Dong Beef." Because Zach C.'s a friggin' pervbag.
Writes Jay from Wilmington, NC, "Got down to my last, most delicious bite of fried pork chop, the fatty and crispy rind. Couldn't bring myself to, um…..swallow it. The dash of mustard is also unintentional, but seems to fit."
Writes Tim from Cary, Ill., "My wife came across this while shopping for baby shower gifts. She couldn't pass up a sassy dong. Is it ironic that it also has blue balls? I think not."
Per Nicholas H., "Here's the packaging from a vacuum one of my buddy's just got." Bro, vacuum packaging? C'mon son.
Au contraire, writes Max O.
Terrence H. calls this lil number "the most dong-like horseradish I've ever seen."
Writes Eric, who shares an email address with his wife by the way, these peppers were "sent to me from my mother-in-law. Nothing like a bulging fiery pepper-cock to start the day off right. I can only imagine that when bitten into it spews forth the skeet of Satan himself. Thanks Deb."
Kristine H from Winnipeg, Canada "saw this posted on Perez Hilton. My boyfriend and I love your site and I have tried several times to find something to submit to you. Hope this makes the cut!" That, people, is precisely the commitment to cause that will land you an unintentional-dong slot even if the submission is borderline worthwhile.
When it comes to this dog-puke dong, Devin felt "kind of bad sharing this with you guys, but at least cleaning it up was a lot more gross than emailing a photo of it. Gus was maybe a little generous shaping the balls, but he doesn't have any of his own to reference."
And, finally, Matt E. comes correction with this lifelike tip atop a jimmies sprinkler.
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