The Drew Magary Super Bowl Chili Recipe

For ease of reference, we're reprinting Drew's chili recipe from the Jamboroo.

My wife does not care for chili. This makes her an avowed Communist and an enemy of the state, but I still love her nonetheless. I made a big pot of this chili last year for the Super Bowl, like I always do, and she complained about the whole house smelling like chili. I argued that it was GOOD for a house to smell like chili for six weeks. As far as I'm concerned, that raises the real estate value of any home by 10 percent. She disagreed. So this year, I'm taking my chili pot to a friend's house and making it there. I AM GOING WHERE ME AND MY CHILI WILL BE PROPERLY APPRECIATED, WOMAN.

Anyway, this recipe takes a bit of time to make, but I like it that way. I like spending Super Bowl Sunday in the kitchen, preparing a pot of chili that I will end up eating by myself at all hours of the day: for dinner, with my eggs, for lunch, on top of hot dogs, on top of spaghetti, cold out of the pot early in the morning, whenever. It's one of my favorite things to do in the world. I get so excited to eat it, you can hardly conceal my food boner. I even get excited when I go to the supermarket to buy the ingredients. Who gets a boner for canned corn? I DO.

FOR THE CHILI:
2 pounds ground beef or chicken (make sure it's a fatty percentage; too lean and it turns out all dry and crumbly and you will be less than a man)
1 onion, chopped
6 cloves garlic, chopped
1 shallot, chopped
1 jalapeno, chopped
1 28 oz. can crushed tomatoes
1 16 oz. can tall red kidney beans, drained
1 16 oz. can corn, drained
1 can beer, any kind
1 16 oz. can chicken broth
1 tsp liquid smoke
1 tsp sugar
1 tbsp fennel seed
2 tbsp cumin (add more at end if necessary)
2 tbsp chili powder (add more at end if necessary)
1/4 cup white vinegar
Salt & pepper to taste
Ashes from a joint (optional)
Lotta Frank's Hot Sauce
2 glugs olive oil

FOR THE SIDES:
Shredded cheese
Tortilla chips
Sour cream
Frank's hot sauce
1 bunch scallions, chopped (as always, don't skimp on the scallions)
Beer

Put a big pot on the stove on medium. Pour in the oil. When it's hot, toss in the onions, garlic, jalapeno, and shallots and stir them around until soft. Toss in the ground meat. Salt and pepper the ground meat in the pot. Sautee the meat until it's good and brown. Add the tomatoes, beans, corn, beer, broth, liquid smoke, sugar, cumin, chili powder, fennel seed, joint ashes, vinegar, and Frank's. Bring it to a simmer. Half cover the pot and leave it on low medium heat for 3-4 hours, stirring occasionally and always tasting. The liquid in the pot should reduce into a nice, thick stew. Dip in a chip to see if the chili sticks to it. If it does, it's ready to serve. Personally, I add about half a container of sour cream to my bowl. Sour cream in chili is the best goddamn thing ever.