It Will Be Hard, But Not Impossible, To Get Drunk At The Blue Jays' Home Opener

A reminder to Blue Jays fans that you should probably get hammered before going through the turnstiles tonight, as the Rogers Centre will be severely curtailing beer sales since you've proven you can't hold your alcohol. Look at you. You're a drunken sloppy mess and you're never going to make anything of yourself other than getting smashed and kicked out of a baseball game. You disgust me. Go boo the Leafs.

The problem is in the 500 level, the cheapest of the cheap seats. The nosebleeds are rarely utilized for Jays games, but every time they are, trouble starts. In 2008, $2 Tuesdays meant a full 500 level, and 100 ejections a night. In 2009 a disgruntled and intoxicated opening day crowd caused a delay when they bombarded the field with debris.

To avoid a repeat for tonight's home opener, concession stands on the 500 level will limit fans to one beer per purchase. If I know Torontonians, this will mean buying a beer, getting in the back of the line, then trying to chug the first one before you get to the register to buy another beer. Ad nauseam, perhaps.

Beer sales will be limited at Jays' sold-out home opener [Globe And Mail]