Prediction? Pain: The Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions

Let's start the day of on the right foot with some unintentional dongs. Our first dong is courtesy of reader Matt and his girlfriend who decided to put on some sadomasochistic show for us with the help of some cactus dong and suggestive scene blocking. A friendly reminder: please send in any would-be penises to the tips department. And away we go.

Prediction? Pain: The Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions

I struggled with whether or not to include this submission from Hot Boy Soup. At first glance, it's only marginally dong-like. I have received and rejected many submissions more dong-like but it got me thinking. This is the beauty of Unintentional Dong Submissions. It's like reading a book, the author may have intended one thing, but you may have found a different meaning in it. There's a whole world out there, with kinda-dongy-looking things. Open your eyes and your hearts. Who am I to say this is not dong-like enough?

Prediction? Pain: The Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions

True story: a few years ago I visited a friend in Austin and took the exact some picture for the exact same reason. We Are All Reader Adam.

Prediction? Pain: The Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions

Reader Caleb may have just sent in the Cheetos dong of Cheetos dongs. It's not just laying on its side like some middle-aged, beaten-down-by-the-world Cheetos dong. It is virile. Standing at attention of its own accord, daring the world to stop it.

Prediction? Pain: The Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions

Atlanta has a new streetcar system apparently and it looks like a dong slapped right across the face of the city. Thank you, Chris.

Prediction? Pain: The Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions

David took apart a laptop and noticed, even the machines have dongs. It won't be artificial intelligence that's our undoing.

Prediction? Pain: The Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions

This is just disturbing, Keith. I do not thank you.

Prediction? Pain: The Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions

Luke went to Hawaii and noticed this coconut dong apparatus.

Prediction? Pain: The Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions

This is like the Apple product of dong submissions. Simple. Elegant. Visually striking. Thanks to reader Mark.

Prediction? Pain: The Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions

Michael went to a wedding where they had these napkins. Presumably the last name begins with a "D." Like, Dick.

Prediction? Pain: The Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions

Whatever the name on it, grab that napkin and clean up whatever mess you've made in this picture, reader mouse bomb.

Prediction? Pain: The Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions

We'll let Jeff take this one:

My wife said she "forgot" this was in her purse. Should I be concerned?

Is this a literal purse or a figurative "purse." It's an important distinction I think.

Prediction? Pain: The Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions

From reader Patrick:

Bbq'ed some big steaks. My wife picks out this one out of the 3 lbs I cooked. But in bed she won't eat the "other" meat because she's too tired.

Prediction? Pain: The Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions

Shane's kid drew a sock on a MagnaDoodle and it looks like a dong with a disturbingly sharp bend in it.

Prediction? Pain: The Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions

This, this is great. Tommy L. informs it is some kind of mushroom (he told me what kind but I forget and deleted the email) turned on it's head. All I can think of is some little man dancing nude in weird dutch shoes. Anyway that's it for dongs this week. Enjoy!