HOLY SHIT GIANT CROCODILE

After two years, two deaths, several injuries, and countless sleepless nights and pooped sarongs, Lolong the crocodile was captured in the Philippines last fall. This week he's been officially certified as the world's largest saltwater crocodile, at 20.24 feet and 2,370 pounds.

Here's the scariest part: HE'S STILL ALIVE. They put him in a ZOO.