Time for our weekly peek into the Freudian clusterfuck that is our roundup of reader-submitted accidental male genitalia!
As Freud himself once said, "Anatomy is destiny," and also (from the same work), "All corn dogs resemble dongs, but some corn dogs really, really resemble dongs."
Many years later, reader William would come to much the same conclusion. He reports that his friend ate this corn do(n)g, and confesses that he would have done the same. We would have too, and we appreciate the honesty. As always, please send any and all inadvertent dongs to the tips department. And we're off!
Hummer Corp. Executive: I feel like people associate our brand with insecurity or overcompensating, and with being a dick in the colloquial sense, but I worry that if we don't hammer it home subconsciously, people might forget what a dick you—
Graphic Designer: [Furiously scribbling] Eureka!
Unintentional dong, and unintentional poetry, from Reg:
In Prague, in an underpass.
There is no reason for this sculpture (?) other than surprise dongage.
Not only that, there's a matching one on the other side of the underpass.
The same world traveler found this, again in Prague, causing him to speculate that "maybe Prague is just the city of the unintentional dong." There's a statue in Prague of Freud trying to decide whether to kill himself, which seems relevant.
A Starbucks dong from Brittany. Thanks, Brittany! Seeing things in pound cake is a time-honored tradition. Although you sort of went the other way with it.
There are so many options when you make a chew toy. Dogs don't understand objects in the way we do—you could make it literally any shape, and and as long it squeaked, the dog would be happy. They went with dong-shaped.
David reports that this balcony railing is from the Hotel Montpensier. Yeah, it exists.
Yeah, the mushrooms look like dongs, 90% of all mushrooms look like dongs. But yikes, right? Are those, like, lawn ornaments? Anthropomorphic frogs, with a splash of youthful innocence and a touch of coquettish sexuality? For your front yard? What?
Again, those mushrooms do look like dicks, but the real revelation here is the amount of bizarre and disconcerting home decor out there. Thanks (?) Scott.
From Stephen, who reports, "I have no information concerning the origin of this dong." The ground, probably, carrots grow in the ground. Bonus points for the adjacent carrot, which looks like a pair of crossed legs. Finally: A pair of carrots that looks like a middle-aged couple from the waist down.
Seems disrespectful to call this an "unintentional" dong, except insofar as all dongs are unintentional. Wait, all dongs sort of are unintentional, aren't they? Holy shit. Thanks, Will.
True story: I had downloaded this image for a post I did not write about this slow-motion turtle escape, and briefly considered slipping it in last week's dong roundup and thanking myself for the submission. I'm glad I didn't, because I now I can thank Samuel, and nobody needs to know.
Nice boner, peach. Nice submission, Kelli.
From Cristin, who sent this in with the oddly mellifluous subject line, "Unintentional Halo facebook dong." I wanted to make a joke about how that phrase would have been totally incomprehensible to anyone ten years ago, but it actually is still only half comprehensible to me now.
That's a huge pepper.
Thanks Colin, and thanks everyone else. Hoped you enjoyed this week's dongs.