Mystery Whisper finished a disappointing 23rd during this morning's show jumping finals. (And I guess the guy on his back did too, but it's sort of screwed up that the horses don't even receive medals, so we're going to start ignoring the riders.) It might have been a case of the nerves, as the 12-year-old dropped a series of loads before launching into the course.

SPOILER ALERT: The giant dookie the Russian girls laid in team gymnastics was only metaphorical.

For a handy master schedule of every Olympic event, click here.