Some people are fans of Deadspin's Why Your Team Sucks previews. But now the shoe's on the other foot! Suck on this, you cocksuckers.
1. Drew Magary is a bloviating turkey tit. Let's face it, every time Drew Magary decides to post something it's an absolute guarantee that he'll spend four paragraphs self-indulgently masturbating his ego with how many multi-syllable words he can fit into one sentence while making hyperbolic statements that would shame Baron von Münchausen. We get it Drew, you got high honors from the University of Phoenix Online. Now shut the fuck up so we can read something that doesn't take five hours to finish.