Ah, Ian Beckles. Ian Beckles, Ian Beckles, Ian Beckles. Ian Beckles, Ian Beckles. Who the fuck is Ian Beckles?
Ian Beckles was an offensive lineman for the Tampa Bay Bucs from 1990-1996, and now has a radio show in Tampa. Here's the awesome story of his arrest yesterday, courtesy of the Tampa Bay Times:
Beckles, 45, was arrested about 11 p.m. near Jannus Live downtown. Police directing traffic as a crowd left the Citizen Cope concert spotted Beckles walking into traffic, the arrest report said.
An officer who asked him to return to the sidewalk observed Beckles was "highly intoxicated, swaying and slurring his speech," the report said. Beckles "had difficulty speaking in complete sentences and had the strong smell of alcohol on his breath."
When police told Beckles he could go after "educating him" on the importance of pedestrian traffic signals, Beckles slapped an officer on the back and said, "Okay, tough guy," police said.
He continued to heckle officers until he was asked to return to the sidewalk, police said. Then Beckles moved toward an officer on horseback and was told to stay away.
He moved from that horse and toward another, police said.
Another officer began to yell, "Don't touch the horse! Don't touch the horse!"
Beckles touched the horse, police said.
Let's hope "Beckles touched the horse" enters the lexicon as a euphemism for all misguided and drunken antics. Are you guys going to be at the party on time? "Nah, Beckles touched the horse." Why is there ketchup all over the couch? "I guess Beckles touched the horse last night." It works for everything!
Our tipster notes that Beckles is scheduled to appear at an event called "Stars with Spirits," but after Beckles touched the horse, they may want to reconsider.