The U.S. Rolls Over And Europe Roars Back To Win The Ryder CupS

Oh, fuck! The European team just stole the Ryder Cup despite beginning the day well behind on points to the U.S. team. Three Americans lost both 17 and 18 (the U.S. went 0/7 on the 17th hole), the 10-6 lead the U.S. came in with today was not safe, and Gene Wojciechowski's "Ryder Cup all but locked up for U.S." column from yesterday was proven hilariously, perfectly wrong. (Seriously, read that, he's making Marty McFly jokes.) Phil Mickelson lost to Justin Rose, Jim Furyk and Steve Stricker blew big putts, Tiger Woods could not save us, and the jingoistic announcers kept talking about how they were having trouble breathing. We all were. Especially Steve Stricker.

In the end, it was the largest final day comeback in Ryder Cup history, and even the hometown announcers had to hand it to the European team—some of them apparently played well. Europe wins 14-14, because a points tie goes to the incumbent. Europe wins 14.5-13.5, but a tie does go to the incumbent, in case you were curious.

Now, for the post-tournament concessions: until the next Ryder Cup, the capital of America is Dublin (Barcelona in winter), we all use the Euro, and Rory McIlroy gets police escorts everywhere.