The Big Ten's T-Shirt Cannon Is The Most Pathetic Thing Ever

Reader " Norman Dale" is at tonight's embarrassment of a Big Ten championship game (70-24 Wisconsin last we looked) and if there's any metaphor for a B1G season sapped of the ineligible Ohio State and Penn State, it's this weak T-shirt cannon. Seriously, what is this? Manufacturing used to be a point of Midwestern pride.