Dead Letters: "You Need To Grow Up And Learn To Talk Like An Adult. Pathetic!!"

Welcome back to Dead Letters, the feature in which we reprint our favorite fan mail from throughout the week. It's like Deleted Scenes, but without all the scuzz money. We should take this moment to remind you that all emails to Deadspin and its editors are on the record unless otherwise specified. Now for your letters.

Subject: Goodell

From: Christopher Tiernan
To: Drew Magary

I played with Roger at Bronxville High School. A decent guy. Integrity and well-respected by his teammates and classmates. You obviously have a hard on about him but one thing is for sure....you don't know what the fuck you are talking or writing or scribbling about.

Sent from my iPad

Subject: Fort Wayne Update

From: Barry Sordelet
To: The Staff

Tell JackY Dickey we don't care if he does not plan to visit….what an ass.

Barry M. Sordelet
Mossberg Industries, Inc.
204 North 2nd Street
Garrett, IN 46738

Subject: fort wayne

From: Dan Evans, Fort Wayne resident
To: Jack Dickey

Fort Wayne is one of the most livable cities in the US.
you really should check your facts before you talk out you ass.

Dan Evans
Fort Wayne resident

Subject: Awesome

From: Cole Pyck
To: The Staff

Funny cracks about Fort Wayne. I wasn't offended but we are the second largest metropolis in indiana behind Indianapolis. That's gotta count for something!

Sent from my iPhone

Subject: kipschlemp@yahoo.com has invited you to join Ebony_Cocks_for_Ivory_Twats

From: Yahoo! Groups Invitation
To: The Staff

This invitation expires in 30 days. Thursday, 6 December 2012 - 4:31 AM UTC
You have been invited to join Ebony_Cocks_for_Ivory_Twats group!
Join this group!

Yahoo! Groups is a free service that allows you to stay in touch with friends and family or meet new people who share your interests. It is a violation of our service rules for members to abuse this invitation feature. If you feel this has happened, please notify us. You may also change your email preferences to stop receiving group invitations in the future. Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to our Terms of Service.

Subject: Language

From: Michael Brand
To: Albert Burneko

How does all the foul language help you get your point across. Every time I start to read a deadspin article I have to stop because of the childish filthy language. You need to grow up and learn to talk like an adult. Pathetic !!

Disgusted in alabama

From: Albert Burneko
To: Michael Brand

Come on Michael, you don't think that's just a little bit silly? They're words, bud. They're not gonna melt your eyeballs. Hang in there and finish the piece, and you'll be glad you did.

Thanks for trying, anyway.

From: Michael Brand
To: Albert Burneko

No thanks. I was raised differently than that. I find people that feel cursing necessary to get their point across tend to be insecure. I'll just won't read it anymore and you can just keep on cussing!

Michael

"He must increase and I must decrease" John 3:30

The will of God will never take you where the grace of God will not protect you.

From: Albert Burneko
To: Michael Brand

Michael, that's your choice. It's preposterous nonsense, but you're entitled to it.

Take care.

Subject: Interested in the court

From: Kevin Johnson
To: Sean Newell

I would like to purchase the court.

Please contact me at [phone number redacted]. I will be in Memphis on the 16th of this month..

Kevin Johnson

[Ed.: It's not that Kevin Johnson. Oh well.]

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