There's still time to avoid a full-scale revolt from your undernourished Super Bowl party guests. Follow these directions and good luck. We're all counting on you.
Cut-up hot dogs? Sure. Adding a hunk of seared pork butt to the cauldron, as I'm doing this year? Absolutely. White beans instead of kidney beans? Knock yourself out. Tofu instead of meat? YOU GO TO HELL. YOU ARE NOT WORTHY OF THE RECIPE. Read »
You, in your great wisdom, are going to serve pulled pork with sandwich buns. It's easy, it's phenomenally cheap, it requires about as few dishes and pots and pans as one could reasonably expect of any large-quantity cooking endeavor more sophisticated than showing a pig a photograph of a hot oven and then eating it alive, and, done well, it is absolutely every bit as tasty and satisfying as anything that would require you to don a disguise, drive to a different state, and purchase a melon baller with cash. Read »
How To Make A Bean Dip: A Guide For New Year's Eve (Or Super Bowl) Partygoers Who Are Getting Too Old For This Shit
People will bring all manner of dips and such to the party: There will be that unpleasant-looking but tasty spinach and faux-crab dip served in the bowl of Hawaiian bread; there will be guacamole; there will be a tub of sour-cream-and-onion dip and a bag of potato chips; some bozo will bring a jar of Old El Paso queso dip as if that weren't ridiculous and kind of insulting. All of these are perfectly tasty-the only real problem with all of them is that they are not refried-bean dip. Read »
Why would anyone even bother making the real thing? The answer: Because the real thing, when done well, justifies all the horrors of mankind a thousand times over, except for Dane Cook. Read »
You essentially cannot fail. Your nachos, even if they are nothing more than a fun-sized bag of Cool Ranch Doritos into which you accidentally spill a jar of Old El Paso queso dip, are gonna taste good. Bonanza! Now go to the store and get some nice ingredients, ya bum. Read »
It's unlikely that any ancient Mexican tribesman ever said, "Oh shoot, we have only two poblanos and the recipe calls for three; looks like we can't have chili tonight!" (and not just because of the overwhelming odds against him having been able to speak English). Chili invites us to tinker, to adjust, to personalize, and if the results taste good, to feel good about that. Read »