Aroldis Chapman, the Cincinnati Reds' usually invincible closer, blew a save yesterday when he surrendered two ninth-inning home runs to the Philadelphia Phillies. Although it's unusual to see Chapman get touched up like that, even the best closers have off days. No reason to get all worked up, right? Wrong!
Phillies Spanish-language broadcaster Rickie Ricardo thinks he knows exactly why Chapman didn't pitch well yesterday, and Cuban pastries are to blame. In a radio interview on WIP in Philly, Ricardo claims that he recently bought a crapload of flaky pastries filled with guava and cream cheese for Chapman, and that the Reds' closer binged on 18 of them before Sunday's game. From CBS Philly:
Could you imagine cream cheese and guava on a baked pastry? Well Chapman asked me for a box of 100, two boxes of 50. When I saw him on Sunday morning before the game, he was in the club house, he had just eaten about 18 of them. He couldn’t breathe! I looked at my partner, I said, ‘he’s ripe for the taking today.
We're pretty sure that Ricardo is talking about Pastelitos de Guayaba, which look delicious. But no, we cannot imagine eating 18 of them, because that sounds disgusting. The real lesson here is that everyone should keep their pastries the fuck away from Aroldis Chapman, who is apparently a tremendous glutton.