St. Louis Cardinals fans are like Donald Trump supporters, in that they all look like trolls pretending to be horrible and illiterate. When Jason Heyward, who briefly played for them, left their bad city for glamorous and refined Chicago and a reported $184 million earlier today, they made their opinions known. @bestfansstlouis—a Twitter user whose strength and power are exceeded by only Nancy Grace—collected some of the opinions of these purported best fans in baseball, which we now share with you:

You get the idea.

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The best part about this is that Heyward apparently turned down millions and millions of dollars to get out of St. Louis and head to Chicago, probably because Chicago not only has a better National League baseball team with brighter prospects for the future, but is an infinitely superior city:

You just can’t put a price on quality of life.

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h/t Baseball’s Best Fans

Top photo via Getty