Seahawks running back Marshawn Lynch gave the same answer to every question he received at Super Bowl Media Day, and Philadelphia Daily News columnist Marcus Hayes got upset about it—so upset, in fact, that he used Lynch's anti-media performance as a topic for his latest column.

No, seriously, this guy is mad at Marshawn Lynch for showing up at Media Day and giving columnists something to write about, which is literally what he was asked to do:

Duty should not be served. It is part of being a professional. It's part of being an adult.

Marshawn Lynch is neither.

As expected, his antics stole the spotlight from other, less distasteful distractions.

Belichick waxed sentimental about his love for Jon Bon Jovi and all things Jovian (sorry, Jupiter). Tom Brady buys chocolate bars as a late-night 7-Eleven indulgence. Patriots running back LeGarrette Blount believes the Seahawks' defense is not made up of vampires...

This is a remarkable passage. Here, and earlier in the column, we have Hayes admitting that Media Day is a circus at which very little useful information can be gleaned from players and coaches. And then, in the same breath, we have him browbeating Lynch for not taking Media Day ... seriously ... enough? "You're making a mockery of this farce!" protests the dipshit.

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Hayes should be thanking Lynch. Instead of having to wring out a column about what kind of candy bars Tom Brady likes to eat, he got to return to his hotel room and bang out 28 one-sentence paragraphs about Marshawn Lynch being unprofessional. Who's the one "mailing it in" in this situation, again?