It's nearly spring. March Madness will be here soon to make you drunk and happy, but soon it'll be gone and you'll eventually be left with Jim Nantz tossing Augusta National's salad and the three people left on Earth who care about regular-season baseball. What's an anti-social American to do? Reader Kory has an idea:
I hate that football season is over. I say that we should move college football to the spring. That way football would never really end.
I am in favor of this. You could start the season off in March and then have your little four-team playoff starting the weekend of July 4. Then the draft would be the week after the title game, right in time for training camp. You would reduce holdouts and get rid of a LOT of the pre-draft bullshit that's gotten out of hand the past two decades (the NCAA could—and this is pure fantasy—allow the NFL to hold its scouting combine prior to the college season, so that NFL teams could physically evaluate players and then go watch them perform for a final season prior to drafting them). For colleges, it would allow their student-athletes (snicker snicker) to get acclimated to campus life and prepare for the season all fall, and then play balls out in the spring.
Generally, I think the idea of a year-round NFL season is something that sounds good in theory but lousy in practice: having pro football all year long would erode the quality of the game—and, crazy as it sounds, you'd eventually get sick of the product. But moving college football to the spring makes perfect sense. It's football, but it's DIFFERENT football. It would be just different enough that you'd never ever get sick of it.
Plus, why are we overloading fall weekends with all this football? It angers our significant others for no good reason. I don't watch as much college football as I used to because I can't sacrifice that much time in a single weekend. At a certain point, I had to choose between college and pro ball, and pro ball ended up winning. But if everything were more evenly spaced out, I could get it ALL.
Think about it: No more bickering over entire football weekends. No more giving up one Saturday to loved ones so that you can watch games all Sunday. We've all been forced to skip more football games than we'd like to because the schedule is so jam-packed. This would help ease the logjam. Divorce rates would plummet. Chip sales would triple. Spring college scrimmages would sell out all over the place. I can't imagine how much enthusiasm real football would generate. And here's something that blew my mind: Spencer Hall has pointed out that, in Florida, they're already playing real football games in the spring. And they're called, I shit you not, Jamboree games. It's the one thing Florida has ever done correctly.
When I was a kid, pretty much every school had a set sports schedule. Soccer, cross country and football were in the fall. Basketball and wrestling were in the winter. Baseball, track, and lacrosse (FUCKING CRUSH IT!) were in the spring. High schools don't give a shit about that anymore. Some schools do baseball in the fall and soccer in the spring and cross country whenever people are stupid enough to go running in the forest. They do what's practical now. And I'll tell you what's practical for ME, the all-important television viewer: moving all of college football to the spring so that my schedule is more easily accommodated.
Image by Jim Cooke.
Drew Magary writes for Deadspin and Gawker. He's also a correspondent for GQ. Follow him on Twitter @drewmagary and email him at firstname.lastname@example.org. You can also order Drew's new book, "Someone Could Get Hurt," through his homepage.