My New Favorite Athlete Is Cum Dog

I’m not going to pretend to know a single thing about Jason Cummings, a striker playing for Hibernian FC in the Scottish second division. But you don’t need to know anything about him to enjoy his alter ego, a sock-handed wrestler known as Cum Dog.

Cum Dog happened upon a pro wrestler named Grado eating lunch in Hibernian’s training center, and Cum Dog had to do something about it. While Madonna’s “Like a Prayer” played in the background, Cum Dog hit Grado with a Socko claw, withstood a chokeslam, and eventually won the match with a dive off the top rope. That’s when everyone mobbed him and started chanting, “Cum Dog! Cum Dog! Cum Dog!”

Now please join me in laughing at these tweets:

Cum Dog.