The National Football League, as everyone knows, is a not-for-profit charity, the chief purpose of which is to promote the growth of the sport of football. Sure, it rakes in hundreds of millions of tax-exempt dollars annually, and pays its executives tens of millions, but why not? Who can quibble with its sterling track record of football promotion?
Football is safer than it's ever been, and we've got Goodell to thank for that. He surely earned at least half of his salary just by thinking up new ways to penalize thuggish players for illegal hits to the head while allowing us to enjoy clean, healthy helmet-to-helmet smashes, which are still awesome.