Monday marks a holiday that in Canada is known as Thanksgiving. Any American will recognize the basic outlines of the day: Get together with friends and family and eat until you can compare stretchmarks and then succumb to naps. That doesn't mean it's the same holiday. Care to (U) guess (S) which (A) is superior?
Some of you were forced to wake up at 2 a.m.. to brave the near-riot at the neighborhood Super Store for the crack-of-ass deals on pretty TVs. Here are the two submissions. Two. Really. You're done shopping, send us more.
Since the end of this week will be pretty much kickoff Party Time In America, please help us fill your off-days with something good. You could win prizes and shit!
So as most of you may know, this is shortened week for most Americans so we can all solemnly commemorate the death of turkeys and indigenous people at the hands of white men wearing buckles on their hats.
Some of you are not old enough to remember the Cabbage Patch Riots of 1983, a dark time in our history when lawlessness ruled; where roving gangs of middle-aged women in housecoats would beat you senseless for a children's doll. Above is one of my favorite videos of all time, in which, at about the 40-second mark, a…