Sadly, this was the only Oriole artifact anywhere in the area that had any resale value. (As you can see in this pre-desecration picture, there has to be at least $4 worth of melted scrap there.) The good news is that the bandits were not hard to catch, because they were driving around town drawing noise complaints from residents—while the "statue" sat in the back of their pickup truck.

The four Dillingers were all underage and—surprise!—drunk as boiled owls. (Yes, that's a saying!) They were also caught on surveillance cameras ripping the sculpture out of its base. The citizenry is obviously horrified.

It is a theft both brazen and unimaginable in a city where residents revere Ripken, the Aberdeen native who won two Most Valuable Awards, was selected to 19 All-Star teams and obliterated Lou Gehrig's record by playing in 2,632 consecutive games. The Orioles put the statue up in October 2001, a month after Ripken retired.

"Every day, I hear things on the news and I think, 'Who in the world would do something like that,' and I have no idea," Ripken's mother, Vi, said in a telephone interview. "Maybe they thought, 'We'll get attention if we do this.' I wouldn't even venture a guess as to what motivates people."

It's like watching Johnny Unitas kill that hobo* all over again.

Ripken's No. 8 statue stolen [Baltimore Sun]

*May not have happened.

Other uses for SportRobe:

• Mop up all the blood. The cops will never know!

• Sports themed parties at Hef's.

• Reenact all the scenes in Cuckoo's Nest. We want the World Series, nurse Ratchett!

• You are Moses, and your bathtub is the Red Sea.

• El Guapo model comfortably fits two for Sunday morning snuggling.

The first Presidential candidate to be seen in a SportRobe gets my vote for sure. (Offer not good for Fred Thompson).

Wake Up Like A Sports Star In A New SportRobe [SportsbyBrooks]