Giancarlo Stanton Is Rightfully Wary Of The Marlins' Stink

Giancarlo Stanton is having a tremendous year. He leads the NL in WAR, and he's carried a plucky young Miami Marlins team that is without ace José Fernández to a .500 record and within range of a Wild Card spot. On a normal team, a season like this would leave a player like Stanton feeling enthused about the… » 8/26/14 1:56pm Tuesday 1:56pm

Disgusting Rich Person Jeffrey Loria Sold A Painting For $32.6 Million

When Jeffrey Loria isn't busy running the Marlins into the ground, he's wheeling and dealing in the art world. On Monday, he sold a (lovely!) portrait by Alberto Giacometti for $32.6 million at a New York art auction. That puts the painting's value just $7 million shy of the current payroll of the Miami Marlins. » 11/06/13 5:20pm 11/06/13 5:20pm

Jonathan Vilma Sues Marlins For Allegedly Ruining His Barbecue Stand

Baseball season's almost over, so we've got precious few chances left to make fun of the Miami Marlins organization before it disappears from our consciousness for the winter. What are the Marlins up to today? Oh nothing, just getting countersued by NFL linebacker Jonathan Vilma for allegedly fucking up his barbecue… » 9/06/13 12:20pm 9/06/13 12:20pm

Fans Protest At Marlins' Home Opener, Get Ejected For No Good Reason

When a franchise is as committed to shitting on its fan base as the Miami Marlins are, receiving a little animosity from those fans is to be expected. So it's not surprising that a group of Marlins fans staged a small protest at yesterday's home opener, nor is it surprising that the Marlins organization handled the… » 4/09/13 1:01pm 4/09/13 1:01pm

The Miami Marlins Are A Hilarious Disgrace

Here is what has happened in the last year of the Miami Marlins, formerly d/b/a Florida Marlins: They swindled the citizens of Miami for a new stadium and drew the SEC's notice. They filched Jose Reyes from a franchise that has actual fans but no money and a municipal government that refuses to be robbed blind. They… » 11/13/12 7:07pm 11/13/12 7:07pm