Deadspin: george w. bush

Always Be Remembering 9/11 (During NASCAR Blow-Ups)

Choire — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 11:45:33 EDT

Down in Richmond, VA, today it's going to be all like, "Always— what?" (Vroom vroom sound effects.) "Always remem—huh?" Yes, the NASCAR 9-11 Ford Fusion is racing today! You will always never forget, until it crashes. (Well? NASCAR!)

For those of us who saw "The Final Destination" in motherfuckin' 3D, which, obviously, is all of us present here, because seeing dumb kids die on film is definitely something we can all come together around, whether we want to do Ben What's-His-Roethles-Burger in the rear or not, we are anticipating some really gruesome irony of the 9/11 Happened To ME! variety. How is the 9/11 race car a good idea, just conceptually speaking? The whole point of 9/11 is to avoid shit blowing up, even if the Coast Guard apparently didn't get that memo. And to do some awesome tailgating.

Also isn't it kind of weak if your 9/11 car loses on 9/11? And everyone is like "Oh and then that 9/11 car came in 8th, sad, let's NEVER FORGET that."

Since here we are, let's never forget the one really awesome thing George W. Bush did.

George W. Bush Leaves Office Without Helping Roger Clemens

DAULERIO — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 10:15:31 EST

No pardon for The Rocket. Clemens adds W. to list of "dushbags" out to get him. [NYDN]

George W. Bush: Fan Of The Sun Devils ... Or The Shocker?

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 10:45:57 EST

If you've been on the Internet lately, you've probably seen this picture of the President of the United States making a hand gesture that you probably wouldn't make in front of your own mother. He only did it while posing with the men's and women's track teams from Arizona State University and then posted it on an obscure blog known as the official White House website. It turns out this affront to human decency also doubles as the "ASU Pitchfork" (cause they're like ... Devils), which makes it merely a symbol of the occult and not at all perverted. But when you dig deeper into this web of mystery and deceit, you find there may be something else going on here.

This is not the first time that George W. Bush has been photographed in close proximity to the offensive gesture. Staff Sgt. Earl Granville of Carbondale, Pennsylvania, also made the rounds in this picture with his Commander in Chief. It seemed a tad inappropriate, but Granville also lost his leg in Afghanistan so everyone was willing to let it slide.

But this conspiracy goes far beyond our military or even the Oval Office. Arizona State is actively encouraging people to photograph themselves and others advocating for unannounced entry into the dark heart of America.

Just how far are they willing to go?

Oh no. Not the Sonic cup.

Or perhaps our brave President is doing something even more subversive than anyone imagined? Perhaps this is actually a coded message to his citizens that he is willing to defy these evil solar Devils and stand up to their dastardly pitchfork throwing ways? Yes, that's right ... W. is a Wichita State fan ...

President Bush Welcomes 2008 NCAA Sports Champions to the White House [WhiteHouse.gov]
Show your pride in ASU properly! [ASU]
Sundevilsareeverywhere [Flickr]
ASU for real [Pac 10 Poon]
Ravages of war won’t slow pair of area vets [Scranton Times]

The George W. Bush Female Athlete Inspection Continues

Sarah Schorno — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 14:00:58 EDT

During practice rounds in Beijing, President Bush discussed foreign policy with U.S. beach volleyballer Misty May-Treanor. Or was he giving her his approval rating? Outlining his plan for peace in the Middle East?

According to Treanor, the back slap is a common form of praise in beach volleyball. The "Giggity, giggity, giggity" that came after this one, not so much.

Photo via USA Today
The Undeniable Attraction Between George W. And Jennie Finch [Deadspin]

Joey Porter Manages Not To Kill And Eat The President

mjdeadspin — Sat, 03 Jun 2006 15:42:30 EDT

The Steelers finally made their visit to the White House yesterday, with President Bush playing host to the Super Bowl champions. Here are some quotes from his speech:

"I want to — look, I was a Texas Cowboy fan, you know. (Laughter.) Dallas Cowboy fan — and — yes, I know, I know."
"So he (Steelers owner Dan Rooney) took my phone call after about three hours of sleep. And he was a gentleman then, when I apologized for waking him up; he's a gentleman today. Again, I want to publicly apologize — (laughter) — for routing you out of your sack."

"I appreciate Hines Ward, Super Bowl MVP, who traveled to his mother's home country of South Korea to inspire children of multiracial backgrounds speak out against discrimination. I thought that was an act of — (applause.)"

So, in summary, he's unaware of the name of his favorite team, he messed with Dan Rooney's sack, and was applauded for not finishing a sentence. Pretty standard, really.

As for Joey Porter, I don't think he got any of his money back. He did make a bit of a fashion statement, though, showing up in a fetching pair of sunglasses. And as noted by Jerloma here in The Sports Frog's Swamp, yeah, he does kind of look like Kanye West there. Maybe that was Joey's form of silent protest. Maybe thought, "Hey, I can't say anything, but I could try to look like the guy who once said that he doesn't care about black people. It will be subtle and clever, as people have come to expect from Joey Porter."

Or maybe not.

"I want to — look, I was a Texas Cowboy fan, you know" [The Swamp]
Joey Porter Doesn't Like Bush? [this probably isn't worth your time]
President Welcomes Super Bowl Champion Pittsburgh Steelers to the White House [whitehouse.gov]