"Mom and Dad are just behind me," J.D. warned softly when they parted again, "but we'll steal some time soon, I promise". Stephen nodded, turning his face into J.D.'s caressing hand and kissing the palm ...

"Now, you want a hand with all this," J.D. asked, gesturing at the piles of clothes, and Stephen grinned and nodded, bending to grab one heap. J.D. grabbed another heap, and they chatted about Stephen's classes as they headed to the laundry room. Despite knowing that their parents might only be a few minutes out, Stephen boosted himself onto the washer once he had started the first load, pulling J.D. close and kissing him again, wrapping his legs around the outfielder's waist.

That's just about the tamest passage I could find in this entry, "His Not-So-Little Brother." And Here are more entries, which may or may not involve Cardinals' bench coach Joe Pettini.

As opposed to classic slash fiction that began in the early 1970s with Star Trek characters, slash fiction involving real people, or Realslash, is relatively rare. How people decided to involve the Drew brothers is beyond me. But it's clear that, to the writer, this is all too real. For every graphic sex scene, there's a tender moment in which J.D. and Stephen are just holding hands, watching the sunset. What's going on in the writer's head?

Holy crap. Help me, Dee Mirich!

Drew Brothers Slash Fiction [Live Journal]

Drew's affront, also stoked by then pitcher Curt Schilling's undressing of Drew's agent Scott Boras for attempting to get his player a multi-million dollar deal without ever having a major league at-bat, was one that consistently brings out the worst in Philadelphians. I went to that infamous '99 game, Drew's first appearance as a St. Louis Cardinal, and it was easily the worst-of-the-worst displays of Philadelphia fandom. It wasn't just the battery throwing that was troubling; it was the seeming acceptance for the vociferous hatred that was everywhere, young and old, baseball fan or drunken cretin, who lock-stepped in, as Rick called it, "Brotherly Bile. " The most disturbing display was when two teenage fans unfurled a bedsheet with "J.D. Jew" scrawled on it and showed it off to the Vet Stadium maniacs with gleeful, menacing pride.

Throughout the recent Red Sox series, Drew received similar treatment, with the boos cascading instincitively as soon as he steps into the batter's box. ( The Diamondbacks' Stephen Drew also hilariously gets this treatment.) Drew shrugs it off, always polite, never condemning of the fans, and, yet, it continues. Fine. Everyone's allowed to boo, but, according to a recent Philadelphia magazine article written by Rich Rys, Philadelhia fans should realize that it wasn't J.D. Drew that snubbed Philadelphia — it was the bumbling Philadelphia Phillies front office that snubbed him:

What the Phillies owners want everyone to forget about the J.D. Drew debacle is that it was completely avoidable — before he was drafted, Drew, and Boras, made it clear he expected a staggering $10 million signing bonus. The Phillies figured they could strong-arm the two once Drew was picked. But Wade vs. Boras was an epic mismatch, and although Boras reportedly cut his demand in half, the Phillies refused to go above $2.6 million — right where the league wanted them to stay. Drew ended up in St. Louis, and the Phillies wasted an elite draft pick. Drew’s first appearance at Vets Stadium led to the infamous battery-pelting incident, but the fans should have aimed their Duracells at the owners’ box.

But, regardless of the truth, the booing of J.D. Drew will continue because he has become the embodiment of Philadelphia's frustration, shame, and title-lessness. It's more symbolic than anything else, but it's also become tiresome. All it does is give more ammunition for all of the out-of-town writers to bring up snowballing Santa Claus, batery throwing, and other isolated incidents of wretchedness that have made Philadelphia trogolydytic fan capital of the United States. It'd be nice if they actually proved them wrong.

The Phantom Five [Philly Mag]

Drew was 4-for-5 with a home run in Boston's 7-4 win over the Phillies. He has seven homers in his past 11 games, and is hitting .441 with nine homers and 21 RBI since replacing the injured David Ortiz on May 31. In the first, Mike Lowell followed Drew's three-run homer with a homer of his own, his 11th.

The City of Brotherly Bile has hated Drew ever since he refused to sign with the Phillies after they drafted him in 1997. "They're not going to forget, I know that much,'' Drew said. "It's always one of those situations where you go out there and battle and you're going to hear things that you don't normally hear at other parks. It makes it fun.'' Except, you know, for the batteries.

• Jerry's Kids. Damion Easley's homer in the 10th won it for the Mets, 5-4 over the Angels, for Jerry Manuel's first win as New York's manager. It was the 501st win of his career, and came 4 1/2 years after his 500th. David Wright singled home the tying run with two outs in the ninth. Meanwhile, the shock of being fired has finally worn off and Willie Randolph is talking about it.

• Uh Oh. Carlos Zambrano is out now? That's not certain, but what is known is that the Cubs' pitcher allowed five runs and seven hits over 6 2/3 innings, departing after throwing 100 pitches because of discomfort in his right shoulder. Andy Sonnanstine allowed three runs in five-plus innings as Tampa Bay won 5-4, clinching its ninth consecutive series at home. B.J. Upton, Eric Hinske, Evan Longoria and Willy Aybar all drove in runs for the Rays in the third.

• Millar's Crossing. Jeremy Guthrie allowed just three hits through eight innings, but didn't get the decision as it took Kevin Millar's walk-off single in the 10th to win it for the Orioles, 2-1 over the Astros.

• Simpsons Baseball Quote Of The Week. "What a game! I got on the kiss-cam, I participated in the wave and I got to pee in a trough. Marge, can we get a trough?" "For the last time, no!"

• Wizard Cat Defensive Player Of The Day. Michael Bourn, Houston Astros. The Bourn Supremacy ... the Orioles' Nick Markakis is robbed of a homer with two out in the third, as Bourn makes the grab in front of a stoic Baltimore bullpen. Wizard Cat gives this catch: Four wands.

Contact Wizard Cat at Wizardcat@live.com

Hey, c'mon, manager Terry Francona was busy!

"I should have [Friday]," Francona said when asked if he had told his team about the memo. "I got busy doing things, the first day of the series. We need to talk about the memo so everybody understands what is being asked of us. If something happens and the players don't know ... I need to do that."

The rules have always been there, the umpires are just being asked to be more of a phalanx of dicks about them. And how much time will it save? A few minutes? The people who think baseball is slow will continue to think that. I say just let Jim Leyland smoke his Marlboros and let J.D. Drew rosin up his wood.

Drew Unaware Of MLB Directive [Hartford Courant]