Who Cares About Jadeveon Clowney's "Motor"? (Assholes, That's Who.)

Guys, I'm concerned about Jadeveon Clowney. Oh sure, he ran a sub-4.5 40 today at the combine and is perhaps the best athlete to enter the draft in recent memory. But fuck all that. What I really want to know is ... HOW IS HIS MOTOR?! Twitter, can you be of service? » 2/24/14 3:00pm 2/24/14 3:00pm

Jadeveon Clowney's 40-Yard Dash Run Was Ridiculous

Jadeveon Clowney is doing things at the NFL combine today, and he just ran the 40-yard dash in an unofficial 4.47 seconds. Jadeveon Clowney is 6-foot-5 and weights 266 lbs. Jadeveon Clowney is not of this world. » 2/24/14 11:09am 2/24/14 11:09am

Why Clowney's Ribs Are An Existential Crisis For College Football

Each week during college football season we put the conventional polls to shame by ranking every FBS team from 1-125, by whatever standard we see fit. As always, last week's rankings were not consulted. » 10/09/13 5:32pm 10/09/13 5:32pm

Jadeveon Clowney Shouldn't Play Until He Gets Paid

South Carolina's all-world DE Jadeveon Clowney didn't play this weekend with a muscle strain, or maybe bruised ribs, and also some bone spurs in his foot. He's not been particularly clear on the ailment, or the state of his recovery, and the Gamecocks were surprised and confused that Clowney himself made the call to… » 10/08/13 2:09pm 10/08/13 2:09pm

How Jadeveon Clowney Became A Folk Hero

South Carolina defensive end Jadeveon Clowney got The New York Times long-form treatment yesterday, with writer Greg Bishop hieing himself to Rock Hill, S.C., to get a snapshot of Clowney's upbringing. It's an important story, because it finally attaches a prologue to a figure whom most of the country first glimpsed… » 8/22/13 2:51pm 8/22/13 2:51pm

How Jadeveon Clowney Got Nicknamed "Doo-Doo," And Is Not Sidd Finch

Via Tom Keegan of the Lawrence Journal-World, we get the best detail of Jadeveon Clowney's life yet: He was nicknamed "Doo-Doo" as a child for taking a shit in a swimming pool. It's humanizing, funny, and another reminder that Clowney is not Sidd Finch. » 8/04/13 4:21pm 8/04/13 4:21pm

Ray Lewis Is A Complicated Problem Who Played Football With Simple…

It's easy enough to be cynical about Ray Lewis, after the 17-year veteran linebacker announced his impending retirement yesterday. In the foreground, there's the recent image of Lewis, now that the years have reduced his ability to contribute on-field: the ridiculous, spasmodic dancing; the incessant sideline woofing; … » 1/03/13 3:00pm 1/03/13 3:00pm

Not This Shit Again: Now It's South Carolina Football Players Promoting …

Two days after we brought you the story of UNC receiver Dwight Jones's now-cancelled birthday party at a North Carolina nightclub—a party that rendered Jones ineligible, briefly—here's another fiesta being promoted on Facebook using the likenesses of some college athletes—this time from South Carolina. » 12/21/11 5:45pm 12/21/11 5:45pm

Richmond Fought The Good Fight Against Kansas Until The Game Started

Your morning roundup for March 26, when James Corley of Conroe, Texas mulls the misfortune of not stopping after his 15th DUI conviction. Now, he'll have 99 years to practice counting to 1,030. » 3/26/11 9:00am 3/26/11 9:00am