Hockey is the only thing that keeps Canadians from committing mass suicide during drawn-out winters. And perhaps no one has been so close to suicide lately as the people of Montreal. When the Habs stumbled to a 13-12-7 start this season, head coach Jacques Martin was canned and replaced with interim Randy Cunneyworth.…

Montreal Canadiens' interim head coach Randy Cunneyworth doesn't speak any French. This is apparently such a problem among fans that the team's GM had to address the issue with the sort of groveling, mealy-mouthed statement you give when your coach blows a .48 on his Breathalyzer.